Boy Oh Boyers

Quick thinkin' and clean livin'

Thu, 17 May 2012 08:46:26 -0500

One of our friends told me a story of how he slipped in the shower when he was a little kid, and (I think the story goes) had to have stitches in his chin. Apparently his mother was so upset by the incident (as mothers would be) she didn't let him shower again for several years, instead making him take baths.

Sometimes I let Rowan shower by himself, and this morning it occurred to me that he was really getting a little too active in there, even once twirling around and singing. I reminded him that showers can be slippery and that he does not want to fall. I thought sharing our friend's story would help to drive the point home. The exchange went something like this:

I said, "You know Rowan, you don't want to slip in the shower. Chris told me a story recently, that he slipped in the shower when he was little and cut his chin, then he had to go to the hospital to get stitches!"

Rowan replied with a grimace, "Yikes. I don't want that to happen to me."

Confident that my point was well made, I wanted to lighten the mood a bit, so I smiled and said, "Yeah, Chris said his mommy was so upset about his fall that she didn't let him shower again until he was about ten years old!"

Rowan looked down at the bathmat and then looked up with a focused gaze and said, "Oh, Mommy. He must have been so smelly."

The End of the Lactation Era

Wed, 16 May 2012 09:56:44 -0500

Well, I've been a lot less regular about posting milestones for Alder than I was for Rowan. Alder is now seven months old! He is such a joy, smiling at everyone he meets (unless he is not in the security of someone's arms that he knows, in which case a stranger causes full-on hysteria). His newborn months were beautiful, but filled with many sleep-deprived nights and digestive issues. We are finally past that phase and our little one sits unassisted, loves to play and chew on things, sleeps about nine hours at night, rolls all around, and no longer needs his acid reflux medication.

All of those hurdles have been overcome, but there was one we never got past: despite all the trips to the therapist for his nursing problems, Alder has never successfully nursed for a whole meal. I nursed him on a supplementary basis at first, but he was able to get so little milk, he quickly refused to nurse at all. So I proceeded with full-time pumping milk, every three hours for many months, and then I was able to cut back to every four or five hours for several more months. I produced far more milk each day than he consumed, so we bought a big chest freezer (ha ha) for the basement and have filled it to the brim with individual baggies of frozen breastmilk. We have also filled the top of another freezer, part of Uncle Tim's freezer, and part of Gram and Papa's freezer! At this point I decided, after much thinking and internal conflict, that it was time for me to stop pumping milk. We have enough stored up to get Alder almost through his entire first 12 months with only a small percentage of supplementation, and of course he is starting to eat other foods as well.

This time of pumping milk for my baby has required a tremendous amount of effort -- planning ahead whenever I would leave the house, to make sure I would have the pump and all the necessary accessories plus a way to store the milk and get it home. I had to miss many meetings, conference sessions, and meals to continue giving Alder breastmilk for these many months! I did my share of pumping in unsavory places, perhaps the least enjoyable of which was the bathroom floor of the airport in Washington, D.C. when I was there for business a couple of months ago. My colleagues were sitting in the food court eating hamburgers, and I was on the bathroom floor pumping milk. I suppose it was a low point of sorts, but a high point more than that, because at the beginning I wasn't sure I could do it for more than a few weeks, but ultimately with everyone's support we've made it to 7+ months. Here's a photo I took (anything to amuse myself) while sitting on the bathroom floor. Did I mention it was the bathroom floor of an airport? I didn't want to leave that part out. ;-)

Visiting

Mon, 07 May 2012 14:12:56 -0500

Last week Rowan and Alder went to Georgia to stay at Gram and Papa's house and do some serious frolicking. They did, and included in one of the wonderful photos sent by Gram was this adorable one of Alder enjoying the swing. Tom and I missed the boys so much, but we got in lots of activities that it's tough to do with two kids (movies, dinners out, even an evening downtown to visit an art gallery). We're glad to have them back home now, though. There will be a string of pictures of the day coming up from when we met the boys at the beach over the weekend before bringing them back home.

Astronaut

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 22:48:16 -0500

As any regular followers of this blog will know, Rowan is crazy about all things space. His room is a space theme, he loves to discuss planets and galaxies and stars, and most of all, he loves to talk about space shuttles and the International Space Station. That's why, when I found out that two astronauts were coming to NC State University, I went out of my way to make sure Rowan and I were there! It was so awesome...Rowan was riveted throughout the whole hour-long presentation, and then as we were leaving one of the astronauts, Nancy Currie, signed this photo for Rowan and gave him a pin.

My favorite quote of the whole evening was toward the end, when the astronaut showed a picture of a footprint on the lunar surface and said he wants kids to "reach for the stars, not reach for the sky." Why? "How can the sky be the limit when there are footprints on the moon?"

Am I dreaming?

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:36:45 -0500

I know, the last post was about this too -- but Rowan is seriously so helpful, I could post a picture every day of him helping in some new unexpected way! Just today when I was pumping milk, Alder was in his crib napping. He woke up early and I was not done. I could have stopped, but it would have been a big inconvenience. Rowan said, "You stay there, Mommy! I can do this!" I am so thankful for our video monitor, because I could watch and hear everything that went on. Rowan went in and saw that Alder didn't have his pacifier. Unable to reach him inside the crib, Rowan slid over a footstool, climbed up, and then gave Alder the pacifier. But after a few minutes, Alder started fussing again. So Rowan said, "Mommy, I can help him, but I would need to get in." I said alright (not sure it was a good idea, but it couldn't hurt to try, right?) He climbed in so carefully, un-swaddled Alder, gave him a toy, and eventually even turned on the mobile, laid next to Alder, and talked to him! I continued pumping milk for about 20 minutes (until I was done) and Rowan kept Alder content the whole time! Seriously, I cannot believe he could and I cannot believe he would. So thankful! :)

Missing Rowan

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:59:35 -0500

Nearly two weeks ago I woke up on a Sunday morning violently sick; ended up in urgent care with an IV and several bags of fluids/medicine just to be able to drink some water. Days went by that I was sick, and Rowan came down with it too but he got better much more quickly. Upon hearing of our distress, Gram made an unplanned trip up to see us. When she was heading back home, we realized that she would be coming back in about 9 days because I have to make a business trip to Washington, D.C. and Gram will help out Tom with the kids. So, with me still on the mend from my sickness, Gram convinced me to let Rowan come to Georgia with her! (Of course we gave him the option of staying home and having regular everyday fun, but he can't pass up fun on the farm!) They will be home in a couple of days and it couldn't come a moment too soon. Tom and I miss Rowan a lot, but Alder misses him a lot too! Rowan is excellent entertainment for Alder. In this picture, Rowan was finishing up his shower, I was trying to get ready for work, and Alder started fussing. So Rowan sat down and started singing the ABC's to Alder, who laughed and laughed! What a great pair of brothers those two are.

Happy 3 months, Alder!

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 21:26:41 -0500

Our little guy has been with us for three months now, and it's amazing how quickly the time has gone. We've had so much fun getting to know him so far, and it's awesome to see his little personality emerge more and more each day.

Happy 2012. And...WHEW!

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:57:30 -0500

Well, I'm sure you've noticed 2012 hasn't had any pictures of the day yet. Want to know what we're up to? Here's a quick rundown.

We got home from our 2+ week Christmas road trip (which covered almost 2,000 miles) barely clinging to sanity, and the very next day I (Kristy) started back to work for spring semester 2012, my first real time in the office since going on maternity leave. Tom started working part-time to stay home with the kids some afternoons. Both of us are finding never a dull moment in our professional lives!

Alder started the same Spanish immersion preschool that Rowan goes to. They both go in the mornings, and Rowan stays a few afternoons too while Alder comes home. Tom is home with Alder some afternoons, and Kristy is home with him the other afternoons. Alder has taken to preschool like a duck to water. He loves the other kids, sleeps well there all swaddled up in his dedicated little crib, eats like a champ, and smiles at his teachers. It's really a great feeling to know that for a few hours each day he's in a loving and very stimulating environment where he's starting to learn a second language already. Rowan is still thriving there too, working on reading and writing and having lots of fun (with the occasional mischief)! I don't think he's going to be the kind of child like his dad (never ever in trouble), maybe a little more like his mom (I didn't get into any serious trouble, but I was a bit of a chatterbox...imagine that...and sometimes got my "name on the board" for it)!

At home, the boys have such a great relationship. Rowan loves to help with Alder anytime we ask (I don't think he has ever turned down a "would you like to...." when it involved an opportunity to be a big brother). I love to see them snuggle up on the couch together, to hear Rowan talking to Alder in the back of the car when we go someplace, and to see Alder try to mimic Rowan in the bathtub. Wow, what a huge blessing these little guys are!

Well, I'm out of time for now. Off to work!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 13:45:00 -0500

I'm too busy to write a long, elegant post. But let's just say I'm overwhelmingly thankful for everything we have. To all our family and friends we couldn't see on this special day, we love you and miss you. (Oh, and here's a cute photo of Rowan and Alder in Rowan's bed. But it was taken over a week ago, so all of that reddish hair you see on Alder has already fallen out and is replaced by adorable baby fuzz. Things change fast around here!)

Video of Alder's Homecoming

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:55:45 -0500

I'm behind on pictures of the day again, but this video of bringing Alder home from the hospital might make up for it! It's 4 minutes long and not edited like most of the videos I post, but I'm too busy to fiddle with iMovie for now. ;-) Enjoy!

I am that woman.

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:46:39 -0500

You know that woman whose baby screams in a public place while she seems not to hear it? I am that woman.

As you can see from this photo of Alder in his carseat, he sometimes isn't too happy to be in there. Usually it's the first five minutes of him being in it and then he goes to sleep, but sometimes he persists with screaming for a longer period of time (for example, the entire way home from the hospital)! The truth is, there's no use in trying to comfort him: shushing, rocking, offering a pacifier...we've tried everything, and nothing works. You just have to give him a few minutes to scream, and then he's fine.

Today at Alder's speech therapist appointment (no, he doesn't stutter -- she's helping him learn to nurse) I had my hands full: car seat, diaper bag, baby. After changing his diaper I decided to go ahead and buckle him in the car seat before paying at the front, so that I wouldn't be trying to hold him while I dig out my wallet, sign the receipt, and so forth. I knew he would cry, but this is a pediatric dysphagia clinic; they hear crying all the time, right? I didn't really feel like I had a practical choice.

I got up to the counter with my screaming baby in his carseat, set him down right next to me on the floor, and handed the lady behind the counter my credit card. Within about 20 seconds, one of the nurses came out and sweetly started talking to Alder, trying to get him to stop crying. Then a few more seconds of screaming and a second lady came out, perhaps an office assistant, who noticed that there was a pacifier in Alder's car seat. She picked it up and offered it to him persistently. (I was of course standing just about two inches from Alder's carseat, seemingly unaffected by his screaming, I'm sure.) I told her the pacifier wouldn't work, but she kept on trying. Finally they were both there in his face, rocking the seat, talking to him, obviously trying to spare themselves or me the stress of hearing a baby wail in such agonizing tones (and at agonizing volume)! He just kept on screaming, oblivious.

Finally I was done paying. I had patiently awaited an itemized receipt so I could file with my flexible spending account, and I calmly paraded out the door carrying my 7-pound screamer. Anybody just observing me would probably think I was deaf, to be able to seemingly ignore my baby's cries so completely. But I'm not deaf. I've just gotten to know my baby a little, and I'm old enough not to care what anybody thinks of us. :)

Differences and Challenges

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:18:05 -0500

My last post talked about the perspective shift I've experienced with this second baby. It's so true -- in fact, last night I realized it was 2am, I was exhausted, but I was sitting in the rocker holding Alder who was fast asleep and could easily have been put in his crib where he sleeps remarkably well. At 2am with Rowan, it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears from exhaustion, but with Alder it's all too real how few these precious middle-of-the-night feedings are when it's all said and done.

I say that God has mercifully reminded me not to expect anything to be the same between Rowan and Alder, by having my pregnancy, labor, and deliveries be dramatically different from each other! Just a few examples. With Rowan I couldn't stand the smell of coffee; with Alder I probably drank three cups a day (mostly decaf) because I couldn't get enough of that wonderful scent and flavor. With Rowan I didn't exercise at all; with Alder I was still biking through the state park just a few days before he was born. Rowan's delivery was essentially painless (thanks to a very nice epidural, of course) and stress-free; Alder's was very painful (despite a very nice epidural) and his heart rate was dipping so low, we knew we could be whisked away to the operating room at a moment's notice.

The big difference we're dealing with now is eating. With Alder, I was full of confidence from nursing Rowan successfully for more than 10 months (until he refused to nurse anymore). But it was clear in the hospital that Alder was going to present challenges -- his tongue seemed almost unable to go where it was supposed to, to generate suction. Unfortunately this became a huge problem the night after we got discharged from the hospital, when I realized that Alder was essentially not getting any of the milk I was producing. A Saturday morning visit to the pediatrician confirmed it: Alder had lost only 8 ounces during his first 48 hours, but had lost another 5 ounces in just 24 hours. Follow-ups with pediatrician, lactation consultant, and a pediatric dysphagia specialist have confirmed that Alder is basically unable to operate his tongue in the necessary way to nurse. Sigh.

So, my life currently includes pumping breastmilk every three hours, and giving it to Alder in a bottle with a special nipple to help train his sucking. We have to precede that bottle feeding (and interrupt it sometimes if his form slips into bad habits) with some special tongue exercises. Thankfully within just a couple of days of that scary checkup where his weigh had dipped to 6 pounds 5 ounces, another check showed that he was back up to 6 pounds 11 ounces (1 ounce higher than his hospital discharge weight) so our next pediatrician visit will be for his routine 2-week checkup. Here's a picture of him on the scale when we got the good news that his weight was back up and we were out of the woods. We're really hoping that the therapy will have a good outcome, and that he'll be able to nurse soon.

Perspective

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 06:09:17 -0500

I'm writing this post from my blackberry (for the boys' reference if reading this 20 years from now, that's a mobile phone). It's the first time I've done that, but I've got Alder here on my chest and Tom is asleep. Anyway, what I want to write about is perspective. The kind of perspective I have with this new baby. With Rowan, in the middle of the night when the nurse brought him to me from the hospital nursery I nearly burst into tears because I still needed sleep so badly. Last night with Alder, and being even more sleep-deprived from such a rough overnight labor, I woke up and felt only delight to see my baby and feed him. This is because of perspective.

Perhaps the first kind of perspective is knowing how short this exhausting newborn time will really seem in retrospect. That reminds me that even the 2am feeding is positively precious, and I won't be robbed of savoring it. The second kind of perspective, though, I was not expecting. In contrast to the "I have done this before" view that comes from Alder being my second baby, I also have the "I probably will never do this again" that comes from him beingg our last planned baby. That combination is a powerful one indeed.

I'm so blessed to have this opportunity, to be mother to these beautiful children, and to treasure each second with both of them.

Now, since Dad is not benefitting from the hormones helping to give me such a happy outlook, I'll see about getting him some coffee.... :)

He's Here!

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 15:35:08 -0500

Alder Russell Boyer arrived today, October 12, 2011 at 7:27am. He weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces and he was 19 inches long. The labor and delivery were challenging, but he arrived safely and has had a marvelous first few hours of life. We are so thrilled!

Any day now

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 13:28:46 -0500

We're eager for Alder to arrive, and of course at this point he is "full term." Most of the tricks to help women go into labor are old wives' tales that probably cause more adverse side effects than good, but one thing we know can't hurt is taking walks in this beautiful fall weather! Yesterday we stopped in the shade of a gazebo to take in the scenery. I needed to rest my back, so I asked Tom to let me lean against him. Tim said it was reminiscent of a scene from Forrest Gump where the two soldiers lean against each other to keep from having to sleep in the mud. So he snapped our photo. I guess it's good, since unlike with Rowan, I haven't taken the time to photograph my full-term profile. Enjoy!